The happiest thing for parents is to see their children grow up healthy, talented and especially obedient and polite. If you teach children to be talented, but their behavior is disrespectful and unruly, it is difficult for others to respect them. On the contrary, if only teaching children good morals but bad studies, it is also very difficult to help children create a good life in the future.
“Teaching children from a young age”, for good children, parents will be easier to educate. However, for stubborn and stubborn children, parents are forced to correct the child as soon as possible. Because, the older the child, the more difficult it will be to teach.
Therefore, parents should spend a lot of time observing and timely detection. When children show signs of stubbornness and disobedience, parents should apply appropriate educational methods.
What are the symptoms of stubborn children?
Get angry when your needs are not met
Children from 3 years old and above, when their awareness has gradually improved, they will have demands from their parents to satisfy their own desires. In case parents refuse, children will immediately lose control of their emotions and express anger. This is one of the most recognizable signs in a child with a stubborn personality.
Children’s anger, not only through facial expressions but even through behavior, such as smashing toys, throwing things around or banging hands and feet on the bed, chair, floor…
If parents do not correct it immediately, the child will be encroached on and will gradually become an “unlikable” child in the eyes of everyone around. With this feisty personality, the young future will certainly not be easy.
When parents do not comply with the wishes of the child, stubborn children will often tend to get angry.
Likes to give orders to others
The biggest mistake of most parents with stubborn children is not showing their “status”. It is because children do not feel the authority of their parents in the family, that they confidently allow themselves to order others indiscriminately.
From the beginning, parents have failed to set limits for their children with strict rules. When children show wrong attitudes or actions, parents do not set up a clear reward system for children.
And as a result, children thought that their parents always agreed with whatever they did. Over time, children will consider themselves to be equal to everyone else and even higher. That is the reason that children do not have respect, confidently order others anytime, anywhere, regardless of high or low status.
Stubborn children will carry the idea of ”self is the universe”, and everyone must “submit” to him.
Constantly arguing with adults
Parents do not make the mistake of thinking, all children who have the ability to argue are a manifestation of high IQ. This serious mistake can unintentionally cause parents to “destroy” their children’s good future.
Although, to a certain extent, this idea is true and has been proven in practice. When children have enough awareness, they will often have independent thinking and their own witness. However, it is not good to use arguments to solve problems.
When arguments have no limits and take place in all situations, parents need to promptly consider and re-educate their children. Because, this is also a childish expression of stubborn character.
If parents let children often argue with adults, always do not listen to the teachings of adults, even if it is completely true, children will form the “illusion of strength” in themselves. This way of education, will never shape a comprehensive child as expected of all parents.
3 effective ways to help parents “treat” stubborn children
Calm down to listen and share
Regardless of whether you are an adult or a child, there is a need to be heard. Parents want children to listen to them, the most effective way is to listen to them. This is an easy way for children to open up and accept to share everything with their parents, like a friend.
Especially children at the age of 5, the need to express their own opinions becomes stronger, so arguing is the way that children often use. The argument will never come to an end, if both sides lose their temper, even to overwhelm, children can become brazen and use rude words with adults.
To avoid that, in case parents cannot meet the child’s requirements, parents need to cleverly use “sweet” and very gentle words to analyze for children to understand. Moreover, parents can also directly show the act of cuddling and patting to soothe the child.
Instead of scolding children, the calm to talk with children is an effective method of education.
Give children the right to choose
Young children often don’t like their parents forcing them to do this or that. Because, every child has their own thoughts and preferences. Parents giving orders, often not effective, but on the contrary also cause many children to have vehement opposition.
Instead, parents give children the right to choose, the child will feel more comfortable and respected. At this time, the child will be ready to do what the parents ask.
For example, if a child does not want to go to bed, parents can comfort the child by giving the child two choices about the book that the child wants to listen to, before going to bed. This will be more effective than forcing the child, and soon the child can happily climb into bed just like the parents want.
However, don’t confuse the child and make it difficult to decide by offering “unlimited” choices. Parents should suggest 2 or 3 options for the child. For example, “between the blue and white suit, which one do you prefer?” Instead of letting the child decide for himself to choose a set from the countless clothes in the closet.
Stubborn children have their own witnesses, parents should show respect for children by giving them the right to choose.
Set up a clear reward and punishment system
For children with stubborn temperament, the more parents “close their eyes to let it pass”, the more “water encroaches”. Therefore, in order for children to be able to better control their emotions, parents should negotiate with their children and build a specific reward and punishment system with them. Doing well will be rewarded and vice versa, parents should teach children to understand and master this rule.
Most children love to be praised or rewarded by their parents, so when a child does the right thing and successfully completes the assigned task, parents should encourage and motivate the child, be it by words or by giving a gift. that children like. Thus, children will immediately be obedient and obedient to their parents.
In addition, it is necessary to clarify and agree with children in situations where children have wrong and stubborn behaviors, there will be different levels of punishment. Based on certain rules, children will form a mentality of “consideration”, before doing anything that risks going wrong.
The right educational method in raising stubborn children is that parents build a clear reward and punishment system for children.